Written just now.
to J....
In a dream world
mystified, unexpected
bliss
confusion
sadness
entwined with love
grasping at hope
wanting what cannot be
wishing against the sars
holding back my heart
trying to keep it safe
not certain what to feel
wishing it were different
knowing it is not
torn between bliss and tears
wondering which of those the future holds
wondering if the future even exists
asking what the lesson is
receving only silence
Written 10/20/08
I close my eyes and I think
where have I gone wrong?
So true, I've tried to be a good soul
to love, to care, to be strong
and yet...
it has not been enough
for here I sit
wondering, questioning
how I got to this place I am.
Is it fate, a lesson
does this place have a purpose
for my soul?
Am I not learning
or is the experience
the lesson?
Written 10/20/08
In dreams I escape
to visions unknown
I pass by the clouds
as they dance near the sun
the trees whispering secrets
sharing wisdom of long ago
a butterfly sprinkles her magic
and brings hope to my empty heart
Written October 20, 2008
Where are the answers
to the endless questions of my soul?
Where is the light
at the end of this dark tunnel?
Where is the love
my heart so desperately yearsn for?
Where is the life
that I have come here to live?
written 10/20/08
Thoughts dance across my mind
twirling, spinning, tumbling
to me, they are a blur
I cannot make sense
though I want to, so much
The answers I seek
are ever elusive
flitting to and fro
never sure, never solid
How do I hold them still
so to devour their wisdom?
written -11/11/92 10:47 pm
Under the shield of the full moon
I gasp
clutching at my throat
praying for the light
why?
Questions unanswered
swarm in my head like
killer bees
I scream-tearing at nothing
yet touching everything
Pain, pain rushing through my body
like a flood
unstoppable and wild
taking control of my life
while I make my plans
to flee like the wild
smoothly, serenely
and far far away
written: 4/5/91 1:31am
My love is yours alone
from now until the end of time
You have changed my life
your love has made all the difference
What would have been without you
I can not tell
My life would be nothing
my heart an empty shell
written-1/8/92 12:18am
Words crawl like spiders
from my lips
wide are my eyes as I try
to speak nonsense
to no one at all
laughter emerges
as I weep sorrowfully
and the world mocks me
with its jealousy
Once Upon
Written 3/28/91 1:21am
Once upon a solitary dark night
through the shadows of the trees,
their branches swaying in a soft wind
-along the gentle golden touch ofthe moons' light
came to me, one love
First my mind, my heart, both
overwhelmed, and quite unprepared
sat motionless
Kisses touched my lips,
soft caresses fell upon my skin
the delight-comparable to nothing
It was all so new
Time, time-the strongest of all
unseen powers-its force
touched my sense and changed the love
ever so slightly
Time has passed so gracefully
and now
upon another solitary dark,
and seemingly quiet night
the love that was once
brought to me, so new, has now aged
I too, have aged
changed in times' wise hands
I am now able to see
all the beauty, and wonder
of the love I have
I am able to feel it, sense it,
and most of all,
return it
For a love that is returned,
my friend,
is the most precious,
invisible gift
that any living creature
can give
Empty Beach
written 2/8/91 11:56pm
The sun shines on
an empty beach
waves crash on the
quiet shores
wind blows past nothing
To Micky
written 9/1/91 10:24pm
Trying to run from myself
crazed in my mind
my soul is in such pain
no words are there to describe
I try to make myself
forget the past
if memory fails me
then the pain will subside
I am fighting a losing battle
for I cling to those I love
long after they are gone
so strongly I hold
they are a part of me
How can I forget?
How can I forget the one
who loved me the most?
Future
Written 9/24/91 at 1:42 am
Sitting together
in a small boat
on a restless sea
which way to the shore?
I hear you ask
I want to say, and yet I do not know
I reply
which is up and which is down?
in utter confusion
we pause in silence
I look to you
and you hold me close
our love is strong
as I smile at you
a rainbow appears
we look ahead together
and find our way
Your Face
Written 2/8/91 1:50am
A last dream
as I decide to sleep
a sweet whisper
from my soul to yours
I close my eyes
and the gentle darkness engulfs me
I am love
I am light
I am the breath of my own life
sleep comes now
like a long awaited gift
I relax
and in my slumber
comes unicorns
and rainbows
and the most beautiful
of visions
-your face
Written 2/3/92
Visions of turmoil cloud my soul
I fall victim
like a calm ocean
swept under by a tidal wave
too many thoughts
scatter like a ripple
in all directions
I close my eyes
as the moonlight
echoes
in its own reflections
Getting good feedback too, this is the revision and perhaps final version... The start of these lyrics and concept came to me in one of those in between asleep and awake states...So maybe an intuitive song is a good thing! :) Maybe someone will want to write the music for me. (keeps fingers crossed! :) )
Wall of Myself
Everything seems so long ago
the years are beginning to show
Recalling the story of my life
I'm dreaming and my memories take flight
I put my words in a book
along with every photo we ever took
tales of heartbreak, tales of love
too much history to let go of
(chorus)
I keep my memories here on a shelf
this is the wall of myself
all I have I keep right here
though times have gone, I keep it all near
building the wall of myself
Dusty old album from years past
this is the way for it all to last
my life has changed in so many ways
since I've lived all those yesterdays
This has become my soul
a child that will never grow old
I keep her safe-she's lived so well
and this is the story that she will tell
(chorus)
I keep my memories here on a shelf
this is the wall of myself
all I have I keep right here
though times have gone, I keep it all near
building the wall of myself
(bridge)
This is the wall that dates me
I've bared my soul-my time is done
(chorus)
I keep my memories here on a shelf
this is the wall of myself
all I have I keep right here
though times have gone, I keep it all near
building the wall of myself
The Tiny Light
written 4/6/91 1:23am
In the night
there is a tiny light emerging
less than a speck
of anything in the world
it is the light
brightening up this small room-
in which I sit quietly
and write my thoughts
if I rose high above the earth
to look down on this spot
the lamp would be so dim
so tiny and insignificant
yet to me, as I am
it lights all I can see
written 6/12/91 2:54am
The One I Miss
Dancing in the
shadows of the stars
planets in the heavens
smile down on me
while I sleep
and the one I miss
watches over
my dreams in the night
This was originally a poem, that I have turned into a song, as below!
Kiss the Wind Goodbye
Listening to the song of the night
Crickets sing as a soft wind blows
The dancing stars take flight
My soul basks in their beautiful glow
Kiss the wind goodbye
let your memories take flight
your heart will heal if you try
to kiss the wind goodbye
All through the night is a symphony
the sweet harmonies of nature
a tune of love to me
under the moon, so simple and pure
Kiss the wind goodbye
let your memories take flight
your heart will heal if you try
to kiss the wind goodbye
I lay in the grass and dream away
of the moon spinning in my mind
I see the visions play
until the clouds hide the moonlight's shine
I rise and I run through the endless fields
I stop to reflect a moment
in that moment I feel
how the night wind has been heaven sent
Kiss the wind goodbye
let your memories take fligh
tyour heart will heal if you try
to kiss the wind goodbye
My first attempt at song lyrics.... written 12/3/07
Next Time
Here I sit, doing what I do
Yes I'm lost in thought once again
No need to look inside to know it's true
the words you tell me, my friend
How do I start to understand
Where I've gone right, where I've gone wrong
I know my choices have not been grand
I hope I'll learn before long
Hoping I can learn
hoping to do it right, next time
Hoping you'll forgive
Hoping we can both stay, next time
People, every one is different
relating can be so hard
I return again to my old lament
Is my answer in the stars?
Hoping I can learn
hoping to do it right, next time
Hoping you'll forgive
Hoping we can both stay, next time
We all just want to find a place
to belong, to be loved, so be strong
And I know when I look in your face
That this time my heart is not wrong
Beauty of the Evening
written 6/26/91 9:26 pm
Ah, how I revel in the cool night air
When the sun has nearly set
And the sky is of pastels
Behind gray clouds
How I wish it were always night
And I could sit with my love
And gaze at the heavens
While a soothing breeze
Touches us lightly
And we hold hands
While marveling at the beauty of the evening
Which only God can create
